Chain of Wealth

E193- How Much To Spend On An Engagement Ring

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Denis O’Brien [0:37]
Welcome to Episode 193 How much you should spend on an engagement ring. Hey money clan, a very warm welcome to the Chain of Wealth podcast. I’m your host, Denis O’Brien.

Katie Welsh [0:50]
And I’m Katie Welsh

Denis O’Brien [0:52]
So Katie quite an interesting topic. And I think that there’s a lot of different opinions when it comes to this.

Katie Welsh [0:59]
Yeah, I mean, obviously, girls are just thinking, like, the bigger and the shinier the better.

Denis O’Brien [1:5]
Yeah, I mean, but is that always what you should be considering though? I think that there’s a lot of different sides to the coin. And, you know, like, we’re going to dive into that throughout this episode, including, like industry standards,

Katie Welsh [1:47]

Denis O’Brien [1:47]
But yeah, definitely, an interesting topic. So before we dive on in if you guys haven’t already, we’d love to have you join our Facebook community, head on over to, and come and say hi.

Katie Welsh [1:31]
And Den don’t forget, we have a special shout out.

Denis O’Brien [2:3]
Yes. So a very special shout out on today’s episode to Naomi, we believe you’ve been really enjoying our episodes. And thank you so much. We really appreciate the support. Alright Kate are you ready to dive right in?

Katie Welsh [1:47]

Denis O’Brien [1:47]
Fantastic. Let’s do it.

Voice Over [1:50]
Welcome to chain of wealth. here’s your host, Denis inspiring you to begin your journey of financial freedom.

Denis O’Brien [2:3]
All right, Kate. So this is a big question. I think it’s a big question for guys and girls. And I think a lot of sort of figuring out finances is something that should happen earlier on in later on.

Katie Welsh [2:17]
Yeah, I have to agree with you. And I want to say a lot of times the girls in the movies anyway, whenever a girl gets proposed to most times, completely out of the blue, like, oh, my goodness, I didn’t even know you’re really serious. And now you’re proposing the difference between that and real life is I want to say, most girls have an idea that it’s at least coming.

Denis O’Brien [2:45]
Yeah, I mean, like, you know, hopefully, you’ve been relationship for a while. And, you know, you can sort of figure out, okay, like we’ve been dating for a long time. And this is kind of the direction that we’re both going. But like, they definitely are two different expectations or expectations that come into it. There’s like what the ladies considering and then there’s the guys like personal financial situation. So two massive things. And I think you can’t underestimate enough like how important both them are, you know, and it’s like anything in life with anything in the relationship, when you are trying to find that balance theres about there has to be some kind of a compromise.

Katie Welsh [3:23]
Right. So the you need to find that line between the girls dream ring, but not going to bankrupt. Really your future family situation. Because once you get married and everything, things are going to start getting tied in, and do you want to have to go into debt over a ring? Or would you rather be a little bit more conservative, and maybe not spend as much but still get a beautiful ring?

Denis O’Brien [3:54]
Yeah. So I think that the goals, expectations are probably one of the guys biggest pain points if I have to if I had to say, So guys, for the most part don’t know, we don’t know, we don’t know what the goal ones, we don’t know what they like, we don’t know what their style is. And sometimes trying to find that, you know, sweet spot can be a little bit hard. And, and I think like a lot of ways you can sort of use to sort of remedy those like number one, you know, get her to go shopping with her girlfriends and like get them to go and go try on rings. And maybe it’s a friend that’s like hopefully wanting to get engaged soon. So it isn’t as obvious but you obviously are both trying on rings. And it’s a fun girl outing, or whatever the case is. That’s a nice sneaky way that you could sort of suss out what she’s into.

Katie Welsh [4:40]
That is quite sneaky.

Denis O’Brien [4:43]
Yeah. And, like, I think otherwise, if you’re even with the girl as well, you know, like going walking home, you walk past the jewellery store it’s late at night, they’re closed, you just look in the window and you like, you know, make a game out of choosing what stones you both like or what rings you both like. And I think that that’s a nice way to sort of gauge the style that the girl likes.

Katie Welsh [5:3]
Or if I know some girls have been a little bit more I want to say non pushy when it comes to, you know, kind of letting their boyfriend know that they’re ready for the next step is casually leaving magazines around the apartment.

Denis O’Brien [5:21]
Yeah, sort of like wedding magazines

Katie Welsh [5:24]
Or like ring pictures or, you know, tagging people on Facebook like, Hey, you know, just so you know, like, I like this. Yes, sometimes as sad as it is. Women have to kind of steer the the boys into the right direction.

Denis O’Brien [5:39]
Yeah, I totally agree. And so here’s the thing, right? Like De Beers, which is one of the biggest diamond like controllers in the whole world, they advocate spending three months salary. Now the three months rule, I would say is quite an outdated thing. And obviously, it’s in their interest to try and make you spend as much money as possible. So that’s a great rule for them. But in this day, and age is three months realistic? Also, is that three months, your gross salary, your net salary? Is it your money after all your expenses? Like what does that actually mean? How long should you actually save up for an engagement ring? And I think it’s really a little bit tough to sort of figure out exactly what that sweet point is for you.

Katie Welsh [6:24]
I personally feel like three months is a long time. Because that’s a three month salary, you still have bills coming in and everything. So that three month salary marker to save up for could take months and months and months, depending on what other expenses look like.

Denis O’Brien [6:41]
Yeah, and say we assume that you’re saving 10% of your salary every month, which is probably realistic for most people, that’s going to take a long time to save a three months worth of gross salary. So I don’t think that that’s necessarily something that you can go off these days. But then what is the rule? like where do you sort of find that sweet spot, I think that, you know, trying to find that balance, and sort of what you can reasonably afford is really important, because there’s a number of things at play here. Number one, you don’t want to disappoint this future wife of yours, you know, you want to make sure that she’s satisfied with what you gave her. But number two, you also don’t want to make yourself broke, you know, and end up taking out massive amounts of debt to buy ring. And you know, like I’m, I was reading an article the other day, and it’s the average engagement ring costs about $6,000, like US dollars. So that’s a significant amount of money.

Katie Welsh [7:36]
Thats a lot of money

Denis O’Brien [7:37]
That’s a ton of money. And you know, like that may not be three months worth of salary for most Americans. But it sort of gives you an idea as to how much money people are spending on average.

Katie Welsh [7:49]
So I want to turn a little bit away from the money side. And it like you said boys don’t know, typically. And there are some rules that you should follow when it comes to looking at a diamond to make sure that is a nice diamond. Yeah, because at the end of the day, and I for me, at least, I don’t necessarily care how big the diamond is. But it needs to be sparkly.

Denis O’Brien [8:16]

Katie Welsh [8:16]
So can you tell us a little bit about the four C’s?

Denis O’Brien [8:20]
Yeah, so the four C’s are color, clarity, cut, and carat, and are all of them obviously, or way up different proportions in relation to the price. So you want to sort of find the sweet spot between all the different things. And I would say, if you definitely want to get a diamond and let’s be real, like most women want a diamond, when it comes to getting engaged, if they want a diamond, you need to find something that’s within your price range. But it’s important, that’s not the most mess of stone in the world. If it’s not going to have great other specs, like, if it’s not going to be it’s not going to have a good cut or good color or good clarity, you can have a big stone, but it’s not even going to sparkle. So what’s the point.

Katie Welsh [9:3]

Denis O’Brien [9:3]
You know, so rather get a smaller stone but make it a better stone. So have better clarity, better color, and better cut, because it’s going to reflect a lot a lot better. And it’s going to look a lot better. You know, when she’s showing off her friends or whatever.

Katie Welsh [9:19]
And let me tell you, Den that does matter.

Denis O’Brien [9:21]
Yeah no, it does, like people want to see it sparkling. And it definitely makes people happy when they look down and they see a sparkly ring.

Katie Welsh [9:29]
And I want to point out because I always thought that, you know, boys decided it was time to propose and then they went to like a jewellery store. And they looked at the counter and they picked one out and then bada bing, bada boom, you’re done. And you walk out the door with a bag and can propose that night, which I’m sure can happen

Denis O’Brien [9:47]

Katie Welsh [9:47]
But then I’ve also learned that you can get rings made specifically.

Denis O’Brien [9:55]
Yeah, you can get them custom designed.

Katie Welsh [9:57]
And you can shop around for the right diamond.

Denis O’Brien [10:1]
Yeah, and I think we’ll talk about that a little bit more after the break. But before that, we’re gonna take a quick break and say a very big thanks to our sponsor. Money clan, we are in the final stages of putting together our debt destruction course, you can head on over to Kate and I are putting together an awesome course teaching you exactly how you can get out of debt. And we’re giving it away to five lucky people. We’ve had a ton of interest so far, and some really inspirational stories of people that had really starting to get out of debt. And they have the most inspirational ways they’re trying to achieve it, but they just don’t know what to do. We really want to help you guys out and give you access to this course. But you can sign up for the sponsorship or even for the waiting list for the course. That’s And we’re back. So yeah, okay, it’s like, you know, I definitely think that getting your own ring designed is definitely an option, I think it’s a lot more affordable than what people actually realize. You know, like a lot of people think, oh, custom jewellery, you’re going to pay a ton of money. But let’s be real, like you’re buying an engagement ring, that’s not a small purchase to begin with. So maybe you know, you want to get something designed and the way that you want to get it designed and have your own personal sort of flair on it. And that way you have the know how that you designed something specifically for her. And it adds a little bit of romance to the engagement as well, because it’s not just some mass produced ring something that’s been thought about, and you took the time to have it designed.

Katie Welsh [11:35]
Well, and when you’re taking the time to design it and shop around and, and really check to make sure that it is the right stone for her, you can probably find some differentiation on price as well. So it’s also shopping around for the right size, but also the right price.

Denis O’Brien [11:55]
Yeah, so let’s chat about what happens if you can’t afford a diamond.

Katie Welsh [11:59]

Denis O’Brien [11:59]
And like, I think a lot of people fall into this bucket as well. So I don’t want to forget about them. If you can’t afford a diamond and

Katie Welsh [12:8]
Or you don’t, your girl doesn’t want a diamond because not all girls do want diamonds.

Denis O’Brien [12:13]
Right or your girl doesn’t want a diamond, you know, like there are other things you can consider like getting a cubic zirconia, which is also a clear stone, it looks like a diamond. Yes it’s not a diamond, it’s not going to be as sparkly, but it’s still a white stone, you know, and it’s still going to make her feel special. And, you know, if you really just don’t have the money for it, you can always upgrade that stone at a later point. Right. You know, like a lot of people say that, you know, spending money on material things, is a waste of money. And in some respects, yes, it is. Not everyone can afford to do it, and some people shouldn’t afford it, especially if you have a ton of debt that you’re paying off. But if you are not in that position, you know, then why not, you know, like spend a little bit money on someone you love, it’s going to be something that she’s going to spend the rest of her life wearing. And you know, it’s a very special and intimate thing. I think that like, you know, when it comes to jewellery, you don’t often realize how intimate a jewellery purchase really can be.

Katie Welsh [13:12]
No, it definitely can be. And I want to add to your fact that if you don’t have the money for a diamond, or if your wife to be doesn’t want a diamond, I know a really popular style is a lot of time is getting like your birth stone, or her birthday stone for the centerpiece and then maybe some smaller diamonds around it or something like that. So for example, I would have had like a big My birthday is in May. So I would have an emerald, stone and then some small diamonds around it. And that’s also very lovely.

Denis O’Brien [13:44]
Yeah, it is lovely. And just another top secret tip as well is when you are buying diamonds, the bigger the stone is the significantly more expensive it is. So if you were to just get more smaller diamonds, even if even if you got a lot of smaller diamonds, it would be significantly cheaper than one bigger stone.

Katie Welsh [14:3]
But still sparkly

Denis O’Brien [14:4]
But still sparkly, yeah. So like, you can definitely find a sweet spot for you and find that point where you’re happy with what you’re purchasing. And you know, like, there’s nothing wrong with having a lot of small stones. Maybe Maybe your girlfriend prefers it that way or whatever, you know. And there’s nothing wrong with that, you know, being able to say, you know, I’ve still got diamonds, it’s a style that I like. Good for you.

Katie Welsh [14:26]
Yeah, I think the bottom line is to be on the same playing field and have an idea of what both people are comfortable with. And you can even go ahead and set a price limit like, Okay, I think that we could afford a ring between this much in this much.

Denis O’Brien [15:14]
Yeah. And look, I also think that having that discussion with your partner is not a bad thing. I think when it comes to someone that you’re looking to spend the rest of your life with, it’s important to be able to have money conversations and to get on the same page. I 100% agree. You know, it’s critically important. Like, if you have debt, talk about it. If you you know, like if you are a big spender, talk about it, if you’re a big saver talk about it, too, because, you know, typically in a relationship, you’re one or the other. You’re either the spender all the saver.

Katie Welsh [15:14]
Yeah, well, and it’s a really great way to open that conversation up about talking about money, because maybe you haven’t talked about money before at all. And now it can be kind of it can be that opening gateway.

Denis O’Brien [15:27]
Yeah, it definitely can be I think Kate like, when it comes to just making some kind of a big purchase like this, you want to make sure that you do the right thing. Absolutely. So getting on that same page is critical, knowing what he or she wants is critical. You know, like making sure that you’re aligned, and that you have the same goals. I think, if anything it’s going to make your relationship stronger. And it’s going to make you feel like you know, you’re within your limits, if you’re the one purchasing the ring. And if you’re the one receiving the ring as well. You don’t want to put someone out.

Katie Welsh [16:0]
Right. No, I agree.

Denis O’Brien [16:2]
Cool. Well, before we wrap up today’s episode, I know you want to say a very big thank you to a couple people. So

Katie Welsh [16:8]
Yeah, I just want to give a big thank you to you my excellent co host.

Denis O’Brien [16:13]
Too kind, and to you as well.

Katie Welsh [16:15]
Yeah, our listeners. Thank you so much for listening to us, and all of your support. And a big thank you to our editor, Brian, and if you have not already, please check us out on on Twitter and on Instagram.

Denis O’Brien [16:32]
And lastly, if you did enjoy today’s podcast, don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review us every little bit helps and we read every single review so definitely leave us a review. Alright guys, we’ll catch you next time on another episode of chain of wealth.

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