E185- Holding Yourself Accountable

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Denis O’Brien [0:08]
Welcome to Episode 185 holding yourself accountable.

Hey Money Clan a very warm welcome to the Chain of Wealth podcast. I’m your host Denis O’Brien

Katie Welsh [0:20]
And I’m Katie Welsh.

Denis O’Brien [0:21]
So Katie today’s all about that self importance and holding yourself accountable.

Katie Welsh [0:28]
So, so important and I think that it can be really hard to hold yourself accountable.

Denis O’Brien [0:33]
Yeah, it definitely can. And the thing is when you are just doing life in general when your biggest enemies can really be yourself and it’s really that self doubt that can cause a lot of problems and I think in today’s episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into all of that and really try and you know, like..

Mish out way through it.

Yeah, mish our way through it and really trying to show people how important this topic is. And it comes down to really self esteem

Katie Welsh [0:59]
Yeah.

Denis O’Brien [1:00]
Cool well before we dive in if you guys haven’t already, we are onboarding people for our debt destruction course, you can head on over to chainofwealth.com/debtcourse, we’re giving access to five lucky people to our debt course. So definitely check it out. That’s chainofwealth.com/debtcourse

Alright, Katie. So today’s all about sort of looking at yourself and really sort of bringing about change and trying to create the best version of yourself. And I know that this has recently been inspired by a book that you’re currently into. So why don’t you tell us all about us?

Katie Welsh [1:47]
Yeah. So I’m going to give a little bit of a backstory. So back in February when I say I went up to New York to spend time with my friend Haley, and it’s freezing in New York. In February and I think she knew this so she didn’t schedule a lot of outside activities for us and she knows that I’m really into like, being like empowered, like, I am really affected by like motivational speakers and everything like I really take it to heart and I love that kind of stuff. So she told me about a documentary she wanted to watch about this girl Rachel Hollis. And anybody who doesn’t know about Rachel Hollis, I would say she’s like a female version of Tony Robin. Okay. And the whole thing was talking about how women in particular but I guess guys could take away from this, they really need to build themselves up and they need to believe in themselves and you know, all there’s great motivational stuff. So we watched the documentary while we were drinking mimosas and then you know, our day kind of went on. And then the other day I was in the library and I was looking for a new book and I’ve really been struggling finding a new book. And then I saw Rachel’s book “Girl Wash Your Face”. And I remembered hearing her talk about it in the documentary and I was like, I want to get it. And I came home. I read like the first like, two pages, and I was hooked. And I know you hear people talk about how they can sit down and read a whole book at one time. I am not that person. It takes me a long time to read a book. And I am three days in and about halfway through the book. It is incredible. So there were a few things I wanted to touch base on because she is talking about, you know, believing in yourself and everything through just like your lifestyle. But thinking about money and personal finance and debt payoff. I think a lot of the topics really relate to themselves.

Denis O’Brien [3:58]
Right so, Girl Wash Your Face. So what exactly does that mean, firstly?

Katie Welsh [4:05]
I think that the title could be misconstrued, like, Oh, that’s not very nice title. But I think, and I could be wrong, but I think it means just strip off the makeup and be true to yourself. And one of the first chapters she has is, I forget exactly how she said it, but you need to slow down your “Yes”. And I know I can be particularly guilty about this. So when somebody asked me to do something, or make plans or do anything, I’m an immediate like, yeah, okay, that’s good. And then you cancel. And she really did a really great job at relating it to if you are with a friend, and if you were with a friend who would say yes all the time, and then flake out at the last second. What kind of respect would you have for them?

Denis O’Brien [4:58]
Yeah, that’s true.

Katie Welsh [4:59]
And I’ve had friends like that where they say they’re going to hang out. And then literally last second, they flake out. And it’s really annoying. And she brought that back to yourself that a lot of times people, you are the first person to let yourself down. For example, you say you’re going to train for a marathon. And you know, you’re good for about two or three days doing that running. But you kind of fall off the bandwagon. And I know that I’ve had times like that. And I know that Den, you have had times like that.

Denis O’Brien [5:35]
Yeah, for sure.

Katie Welsh [5:36]
And it’s really hard to hold yourself accountable and really lock yourself into making those promises to yourself. And she really talks about the importance of that and how that can really, when you are promising yourself something how important it is that you stick to that promise, no matter how hard it is.

Denis O’Brien [5:55]
That’s what I’m hearing is basically focus on making promises that you keep. Yeah. And that’s sort of the underlying theme that’s going forward in the book is that stop saying yes to everything. But when you do say yes..

Katie Welsh [6:08]
..mean it..

Denis O’Brien [6:09]
..means it and make sure that you make it happen no matter what.

Katie Welsh [6:12]
Right.

Denis O’Brien [6:16]
And like, I think that definitely makes a lot of sense. And you know, I think a ton of people are very quick to take on work. And you know, it’s funny, Kate like at my job, I’ve been interviewing a ton of people recently because we have a vacancy. And a lot of people, they say that their biggest flaw, because I asked him straight up, I’m brutal. I’m like, What is your biggest flaw? Because I want to know, and it’s interesting to see how people are in an interview, but a lot of people said their biggest flaw is just saying yes, and taking on too much work, and then drowning and not being able to deliver on that work. You know, and that is from a work front. But I think that book that you’re talking about, also talks about the personal front as well and you know, talking about personal finance, and how it relates to that. I think that there’s a very strong connection.

Katie Welsh [7:00]
Well, not only that, she also talks about setting up plans, setting up goals and we have talked a lot about setting up those mini goals like she talks about, and she says point blank like life gets in the way.

Denis O’Brien [7:15]
Yeah, and it does.

Katie Welsh [7:17]
You know, like you get sick, you lose your job stuff happens. But it is so important when you make a promise to yourself that you don’t just quit at the first sign of a little snafu.

Denis O’Brien [7:28]
Yeah. Kate, that is so true.

Katie Welsh [7:30]
I really just want to point out my usage of the word snafu and you can even smile.

Denis O’Brien [7:36]
I didn’t know what to say.

Katie Welsh [7:38]
But it’s true. When people come up to a problem. They just like abandon ship and that’s it. Where goals no matter if it’s a financial goal, a weight loss goal. There’s going to be a little bit of a hiccup and you have to hold yourself accountable and you have to be able to move on after after hitting such a wall.

Denis O’Brien [8:01]
Yeah, I totally agree. And you know, like, realizing that even though you fall off the bandwagon, you know, you stop training with your marathon, you woke up in the morning and you felt stuff. That’s a part of the process and sort of learning to embrace that and saying, you know, even though I’m stiff, I’m still going to get up, and I’m still gonna run and, you know, like the same with money. Yeah, I blew my budget in restaurants, I went off, and I went crazy. And I ate everything, and it tasted delicious. And now I have this money hangover from all this food that I’ve eaten. It’s the same thing, you know, like realizing that yes, you blew your budget, but what are you going to do to bring it back? And, you know, realizing that even though that’s, technically a promise that you made yourself not to blow the budget and whatever category, you can make it up in other ways. And sort of instead of just abandoning your entire plan, which I think is one of the reasons a lot of people fail to save up money for retirement, is that they don’t look long term and they think oh, well damn, I blew my restaurant budget this month, I’m not going to be able to afford to retire. And yeah, you may have gone over. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t bring it back.

Katie Welsh [9:09]
Well, and a lot of people really are the hardest on themselves. And I was reading somewhere, I forget, or I was listening to something where somebody would go home at the end of the day, and he would just really harp on the idea that he made a mistake.

Denis O’Brien [9:25]
Right.

Katie Welsh [9:27]
And it really made me think, because I’m the same way if I make a mistake or something, I’m a little bit hard on myself. And I thought, but when other people make mistakes, I don’t, I’m not thinking about that the end of the night. And it’s that kind of mentality like, yeah, people are going to make mistakes. You can’t cry about it forever. You guys can just put it behind you and move on and keep going. And that is a tough life lesson, I think to learn.

Denis O’Brien [9:54]
Yeah, Kate, and I think now would be a great time to take a quick break and say a big thanks to our sponsor.

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I have to say that one of my friend’s deals is this exact problem and that’s that they keep pushing themselves down, you know, and I’m not going to say who they are but just that they are a blogger, but what they’ll say is, yeah, I made this product, but I made it so it’s gonna be bad.

Katie Welsh [11:43]
Oh, you know that’s terrible.

Denis O’Brien [11:45]
Yes it is terrible, but I think a lot of people do this. They self deprecate and they assume that just because they’re doing it they have like this imposter syndrome that makes them feel like it’s not going to be good enough.

Katie Welsh [11:57]
That breaks my heart to hear but at the same time, I’m totally guilty of it. And I’ll even say this morning, so I caved if you listen to past episodes, we talked about getting a camera. And I may have gotten Denis a camera for our wedding for his wedding present. And I gave it to him a bit early mostly so that when we are in Africa, he is able to actually know how to use the camera. So it has been a lot of picture taking in the last few days and somehow I have managed to be the target.

Denis O’Brien [12:37]
Well, to be fair K, there’s only two people here and one person taking the photographs.

Katie Welsh [12:42]
We live in DC there are a million things to take pictures of.

I have been the target of all most of these pictures and I have been the target of most of these pictures after sweating to death, riding my bike and wearing my helmet and not wearing any makeup and my hair is a mess, and I technically hate all of the pictures. And then we’ll say, but you look at beautiful. I’m like, No, I look terrible. And so I think it’s even that kind of thing where it’s you, so it doesn’t look as good as what you want. And it’s so hard to break that habit.

Denis O’Brien [13:23]
Yeah, I think that self doubt always exists, you know, but if you can start kicking it to the curb, and going back to your book, you know, like realizing that it’s all about you, and you have to have a good perspective of yourself. And if you don’t, you’re not going to meet your goals, you’re not going to meet your targets as easily as if you approach it in the manner of, I’m going to crush this and who cares if it’s not perfect, or who cares if I mess up? I’m just gonna put myself out there. I’m going to try my best. And that’s my best. I can’t do any better than that. And realizing that yes, your best may not be as good as someone else’s best or maybe not even someone else’s entry level, whatever, you’re trying your best. And you have to be proud of what you do in your life. Because ultimately, you’re running this race for yourself and not for anyone else. So don’t compare yourself.

Katie Welsh [14:11]
I love that you said that because I was going to say it. She, Rachel will say in the book, but then, you know, I hear oftentimes, like on podcasts and on pinterest and everything. Don’t compare yourself to others. You have to compare yourself to yesterday’s you

Denis O’Brien [14:29]
That is so true.

Katie Welsh [14:30]
And all you need to do is be a little bit better than you were yesterday. And it’s progress over perfection.

Denis O’Brien [14:36]
Yeah, that is so critically true. I really think having a better self image of yourself is really important. And when it comes to your money, you know, realizing that you’re gonna go over budgets, you’re never going to always be under budget on every single category that you have, and really trying to cultivate that and realize that it’s a balancing act. If you got over on one side, you should try and bring it back in the another side and even if your budget is over for the whole month, you can still make that up and future months or maybe your budget was too strict considering your expenses, like and it’s a juggling act Kate. It really is.

Katie Welsh [15:11]
And I think that is along the idea of maybe we’re like, we’re here. ESP. That it’s okay if you go over, but you can take the time to reevaluate what you’re going to do. And don’t just give up on yourself.

Denis O’Brien [15:28]
Yeah, I totally agree. Well, I’ve absolutely loved hanging out today, I think this was absolutely a great topic area. Do you want to say anything else before we head off?

Katie Welsh [15:36]
Yeah, just give yourself the benefit of the doubt and don’t be so tough on yourself. And all you have to do is be a little bit better than you were yesterday.

Denis O’Brien [15:45]
Money Clan be a little bit better than the version of yourself yesterday. I absolutely love that. And we’ll catch you next time on another episode of Chain of Wealth. Adios!

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